My Favorite Christmas Memory

There are a lot of emotions we all feel around Christmas time. We look forward to time with family.(Or at least, some of us do.) We rack our brains about what to get one another. We battle malls, parking lots, and long lines. We cringe when we look at our bank accounts. We sigh in relief when Christmas Day comes and we get to see the results of all of our hard work. Sometimes we feel guilty for forgetting about what Christmas is all about. Other times we sit with our family and friends and appreciate every milisecond of it.

My favorite Christmas memory doesn't involve gifts or highly planned events. It actually happened on accident. For as long as I can remember my parents have had this nativity set. Every year they set it up, and every year we played with one of the wise man's heads. That's right, a head. Somewhere along the way one of the heads of the wisemen broke off. And somewhere along the way we began moving the wiseman's head. I think it started off with my brother putting it in the manger with baby Jesus. One of us would move the head and wait for the others to find it. At first we moved it to different places in the nativity set. With the camels, on the roof, on the shepherd's staff.... but we quickly ran out of hiding places. So we moved it to different places throughout the living room. (My personal favorite hiding place was in Mom's Christmas village.) For years we played with the wise man's head. Sometimes it would take days for someone to find the hiding spot. It wasn't until Mom found it in the fridge that she finally put a stop to it and glued it back on. 

I'd like to take a moment to encourage my readers that you don't have to get your kids anything amazing to make their Christmas awesome. What makes my memory special isn't the extravagance. It wasn't a gift I'd been dying for. It wasn't a well-planned out family vacation. We just appreciated one another's sense of humor. We continually found the wiseman's head at random places around the house and it was hilarious! (And the headless figurine standing next to the manger was pretty amusing itself!)

I'd like to argue that the meaning of Christmas isn't giving. It's not even about making memories. It's bigger than that. Christmas is about love. "For God so loved the world that He gave us his only son," (John 3:16). We celebrate Christmas by celebrating God's greatest act of love towards us - the gift of Christ. We show this thankfulness and celebration by loving and giving to one another. We sacrifice our time, money, and patience to show others how much we care for them. Just as Christ sacrificed Himself for us through his death and resurrection, and just as God sacrifices for us every day when He forgives us of our sins. 

Don't allow yourself to get wrapped up (pun intended) in the Christmas chaos. It's a trap! It will leave you feeling disappointed - like something is missing. Let's celebrate God's love for us through loving one another this holiday season!

******Now that I have my own nativity set, it's hard not to play with the pieces. Sometimes I turn a figure backwards or make the sheep stare at baby Jesus for my own amusement. *****

Thankfulness According to the Word

Today our Facebook feeds are going to be just about as stuffed as our bellies. Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday (besides Christmas) because it stands for something that we can all agree with. We joke that 2015 is the year that everyone is offended but there is nothing offensive about thankfulness. Finally, something we can agree on!

Giving thanks, however, shouldn't just occur once a year. We all know this, of course, but it is so easy to allow life to cloud our thankfulness. I'm sure we all intend to live with thankful hearts but life has its troubles. Before we mean to, we allow simple things like rude drivers or our fast food meal being prepared incorrectly to ruin our thoughts for hours.

I'll admit, life has clouded my thankfulness lately. I've been opening a lot recently and it's just plain hard to be thankful when you have to wake up at 4am every day. It's easy to forget how blessed I am to have a job, even if I have to wake up at 4am. Rather than being thankful, I have been tired and grouchy. This morning I woke up and thought, "It doesn't really feel like Thanksgiving should be today." I sat down to do my quiet time and I realized that it didn't feel like Thanksgiving because I hadn't been feeling very thankful. Amazing what a little perspective can do.

Today my blog post isn't intended to blow your mind or shake you awake. It's just a little reminder that Thanksgiving is about more than the Macy's parade, food, the beginning of the Christmas shopping season, or whether your football team remains undefeated (Go Panthers!). This is what the Bible says about thankfulness.

1. God is the creator of all good things. James 1:17
     God has blessed us abundantly! If the fact that you and I exist isn't enough, look at your access to running water, shelter, or even Internet to read this post. Even if you don't know where the money will come from to pay your next cable bill, look at the fact that you have access to cable! Seriously y'all, we are blessed beyond comprehension!

2. We are to give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
      Scripture calls us to be thankful when we are hungry or full, happy or sad, lonely or surrounded by loved ones. We are to be thankful during trials. We are to be thankful when we are fatigued, when we are lost, when we are weary. We are thankful because there is more to life that whatever we are facing. No matter what, we are called to be thankful.

3. Give thanks because God is good. Psalm 118:1
     So much of Scripture speaks of God's goodness. He is powerful, yet merciful. Forgiving, yet just. He never changes, and He never stops loving us. If you have nothing else to be thankful for, you can be thankful for this. (But let's be honest, you have plenty to be thankful for, too.)

4. Be thankful because God loves us. Psalm 107:1
     Sort of an extension of God's character is His love for us. Christ died for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). He knows our junk. He's seen our skeletons. He loves us anyway. He wants to provide us with mercy and forgiveness. He wants us to come crawling to Him in the midst of our weakest moments. He loves us so much that He is eagerly awaiting to wipe away our tears and show us an easier way to live life.

5. Be thankful for one another. Philemon 1:4-5
     You can ask just about anybody what is important about Thanksgiving and they will say family. Relationships are a way for us to visualize how much God loves us. When our moms cared for us as infants, when our parents forgave us for bad grades, when our friends ignored our stubbornness about dating someone who wasn't worth the time of day or when our spouses see our beauty when we're wearing sweats, we get a glimpse of what God's love looks like. Scripture reminds us that we are to be thankful for the Body of Christ. We are not meant to live life alone, just like we are not meant to live life without God's love.

6. We are to be thankful for salvation. Ephesians 2:8
     We were given the ultimate gift of love when Christ died for us. His death and resurrection mean freedom. We do not have to run around trying to prove our worthiness to God because His salvation frees us from that impossible chase. How awesome is it to be immeasurably loved just for who we are?


It is my hope that you can enjoy your Thanksgiving with the joy of the Lord in your heart. Those of us who know God's love have so much to be thankful for that we can't just squeeze it into one day. Let's celebrate God's love and blessings not just today but everyday!



***And please, please be kind and thoughtful to others if you decide to go shopping tomorrow! Especially the employees!***

Are you brave enough to say "Yes"?

I have to admit something. I am afraid. What has happened in Paris frightens me. ISIS terrifies me. Because I know that I am exactly the kind of person that ISIS hates. I am a woman who holds a position of authority at my workplace. I speak my mind. I give direction to men and they follow. Even worse, I am a Christian. I am determined to love the brokenhearted, to serve the least, to spread the hope and freedom that drives my life. I am terrified because I have made a decision that might cost me my life. I have decided to die for Christ.

Every day when I wake up I make this decision. Sometimes that death looks like a death to self. I might sacrifice my time, energy, or money to serve or love others in the name of Christ. Sometimes that death looks like the killing of my sinful heart that I have to do to become more like Him. Every day I accept that it might be the day that someone holds a gun to my head and asks if I'm a Christian. If that ever happens, my answer will be yes. Will I be afraid? Probably. I hope that if I am ever put in that situation that God will take away my fear. But my fear will not affect my answer. My answer will be yes.

Every day that I see another ISIS attack my heart sinks. Shootings like the Oregon college shooting hit too close to home. As tension and anger in the world increase, so do the chances that I'll have to give my answer. And so do the chances that you'll have to answer that question.

Today the Christian faith is bombarded with questions designed to crack our foundations; questions about homosexuality, abortion, taxes, political candidates, and even coffee cups. American politics alone challenge Christian beliefs. We allow our beliefs to become watered down by continually compromising in areas that we do not have permission to compromise. We allow other people's opinions to back us out of standing up for what Scripture says. Even worse, we allow fear of other people's opinions change where we stand. Before we know it we become more aware of the people we are trying to avoid rather than the God we are trying to serve.

2 Timothy 3:12, 1 Peter 4:12-14, 1 Peter 3:16, 1 John 3:13, Luke 6:22, and 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 guarantee that Christians will experience some form of persecution. You can expect people to disagree with your beliefs. You can expect to be attacked and criticized for holding a Biblical stance. But my friends, it's not the end of the world. There are worse things than being called a bigot. Check your heart, reread Scripture, look for wise council for things you don't understand, but don't change what you know is true.

John 8:32 tells us that the truth sets us free! When we have Scripture to tell us what is true, we don't have to worry about what we think. We have truth, and we don't have to depend on our own opinions or feeble arguments to justify how we feel. We are free from all of that!

My friends, it is time that I speak up. Do not allow yourselves to be caught in petty political arguments. Walk in the faith and speak when someone wants to hear what you have to say! Love first. Give them a reason to listen. Earn respect, don't demand it. Don't back down on your stance, but don't shove it in their faces either. If you allow yourself to get caught up in petty arguments, you will find yourself torn to shreds by a person with planned responses. (Matthew 7:6.) Don't allow yourself to be clouded by things as insignificant as red cups.

If today you were forced to look down the barrel of a gun and instantly decide if you are willing to die for your faith, do you know what your answer would be? Do you trust yourself to answer what you want to answer? When we let go of our control of our lives we realize that every day is a gift! We are not entitled to tomorrow. And when you let go of tomorrow, your plans for today suddenly become much more intentional.

What will your answer be?

My answer will be YES!!!

The Spirit of Want

Hi friends and family! I know it's been several months since I last wrote, so before I write about the topic that is on my heart this morning, I want to give an update to my long distance amigos. Last semester was probably the most challenging 14 weeks I ever experienced, juggling work, an internship, and a class. I was so happy to finish it, only to find out that due to a technicality (one of my classes I took at another school transferred, but I didn't have enough upper level credits at my current school) I have one more class. I am halfway through that class right now, and then I will finally be done with college. As for my interview with Chick-fil-A corporate, I got some interesting news. They have cancelled the training class that was the reason they were hiring, so they are no longer hiring. I was encouraged to reapply in February, which I will consider as encouraging because I don't think they would suggest that I reapply if I wasn't being considered for the position. In the meantime, I have just been approved to do Chick-fil-A grand openings! I will try to get a few under my belt for now and focus on growing in my Chick-fil-A knowledge wherever I can.

Now, on to the real reason I decided to finally open up Blogger again. Want.

This morning when I picked up my Bible, before I even opened it up, I felt my heart challenged in the area of want. I could easily come up with $30,000 worth of things that I want. The top of that list being a new car, a nice camera, and, for some wild random reason, a French Bulldog puppy. (Yeah, I know.) Without thinking twice about it I had allowed my heart to wander far from reality. I didn't guard my heart from want. Quite the opposite - I jumped on Pinterest and looked at just about every French Bulldog puppy I could find. 

Our society encourages want. You can't watch TV without being pushed towards wanting something. Whether it's a new product, a better body, a new job, or even Pajama Jeans (which, as a side note look amazingly comfortable), we live in a society driven by consumerism. If we aren't intentional about guarding our hearts we can easily fall into a trap called want.

I believe that the root of wanting goes further than living as a consumer. I believe that want is rooted in a lack of thankfulness. Why do I want a new camera? Because I'm not thankful for the one that's on my phone. Why do I want a new car? Because I'm not thankful for my wonderfully reliable car and no car payment. Why do I want a puppy? Because they're cute.

When I opened my Bible today, I came across this Scripture: 

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

Now obviously this Scripture address much more than thankfulness, but it made me wonder... Which am I? The cheerful heart or the crushed spirit? Do I bring others joy or do I dry up bones? Even more, what do I bring to myself? Am I drying up my own bones due to a lack of joy? When we allow ourselves to be distracted by want, we are allowing ourselves to suck ourselves dry. Do you really want to cash your joy in for window shopping? Because that's what we're doing when we repetitively allow ourselves to want. 

When I'm honest with myself the reason I allowed myself to get so deep into wanting is because I wasn't constantly realigning my heart with God's will in my life. My schedule at worked changed to working a lot of early mornings and before I knew it I'd gone weeks without cracking my Bible open. No bueno. When I stopped bringing my heart to Christ, when I stopped remembering the bigger picture, I started looking at puppies on the Internet. It's just that plain and simple. 

The season of want (AKA Christmas) is right around the corner. Before we know it we'll be surrounded by adds and deals and we'll be shopping for someone else while wishing we could be shopping for ourselves. (You know it happens. Those deals are just too sweet to pass up.) Start preparing your heart now, before it's too late. Focus on thankfulness and the want will slowly melt away. Maybe not completely, but at least your heart won't be consumed by want. Because seriously, there's nothing healthy about looking at puppies on the Internet when you know you shouldn't get one.

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where theives do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21 

Jesus Calling

Know that scrambling feeling when you hear your cell phone ringing and you can't get to it fast enough? When you're hurrying through the contents of your purse, grabbing everything that feels like a rectangle? Or, even better, when you've been asleep and someone calls you and you reach to pick up the phone and it falls between the nightstand and the wall? Nothing can describe that moment of semi-panic that we feel when we know the phone has been ringing for a while and will go to voicemail at any second, and we just can't seem to get to it. I struggle with this particular problem quite a lot since I keep my phone on silent all the time. I hear it vibrating just moments before it goes to voicemail. Oops!

We can never be 100% prepared for phone calls. I mean, we have to shower and sleep at some point, right? And it seems that we get phone calls at the most inconvenient times - while we're driving, while we're carrying groceries in the house, while we're walking the dog and passing another person walking their dog and our dogs want to kill one another... (I've obviously experienced this last scenario myself.)

How often are we prepared for Jesus to call us? (I'm not talking about cell phones anymore.) How often are we prepared to answer the call to serve another, to volunteer at an organization, to witness to someone? When we are not prepared for Jesus to call, it's easy for us to miss it. We might feel that buzzing inside of us and think, Wait, is that Jesus? I wonder what He wants. Is He trying to get me to pay attention? Am I sure that's Him? Maybe I'm just imagining it - maybe it's all in my head. We sit and think about what He might want us to know so much that we forget to pick up the phone and listen! Before we know it the moment is gone and we're left wondering what we missed.

When we're not intentionally spending time with Him every day, it's easy to forget what His voice sounds like. But when we spend time with Him every day, reading Scripture and praying, we are more prepared for His call. Be honest with yourself for a second - how often are you really spending time with Him? The pace of life can make it easy to go a week without connecting with Him. Be honest with yourself on this too - is church once a week enough? On Wednesday when you want to throw a plate at your child's head, was Sunday's service enough?

So often I hear my friends say, "I just can't hear His voice anymore." But when I ask them about quiet time, they say that they don't have the energy to do it anymore because they can't feel Him. Folks, God doesn't just want your heart, He wants your head too. He wants to know that you love Him and He wants to know that you trust Him enough to hang in there when that love doesn't feel like it's there anymore.

I don't even want to know how many opportunities I've missed due to overthinking or inattentiveness. Why God continues to call me when I've already missed so many calls is beyond me. I do try to spend time with Him every day, so I don't forget His voice. Sometimes I do great, other times I struggle. When I'm honest with myself, I know I've missed more quiet times than I've remembered. I've gone years without picking up the phone. The beauty of it is that God doesn't hold those missed opportunities against me. He doesn't call me thinking, She never picks up. He doesn't give up on me, doesn't hold my faults over my head, doesn't have a scorecard in Heaven tracking the times I've picked up and the times I've missed my call. He never gives up on me - and He won't give up on you either.

I want to encourage you today to spend some time with Him. If it's been a while, it'll probably be a little awkward. Awkward is okay. Look at all of the great things in life that start out awkward. Your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Your first job. Your first time driving. Don't let awkward keep you from living life.


*Note: Jesus Calling is a wonderful daily devotional book. It has a passage for every day of the year. I would encourage anyone struggling with quiet time or for hearing God's voice to purchase this book. It is meant to read along with Scripture, not to take the place of Scripture.*

Blind Trust

"But blessed are those who trust int he Lord,

whose confidence is in Him.

They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

it does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Today Misty took her first trip to the groomer's. I've been debating whether or not to take her for a while, and I finally decided to bite the bullet. The deciding factor was the fact that after walking a mile at night she was starting to overheat. (Oh, the woes of a long-haired dog.) Anyway, we get to the groomer's this morning and the second we walk inside, she decides that she has made a huge mistake. I don't know if it was the smell or the small foyer, but she decided it was not somewhere she wanted to be. She started shaking and huddled in the corner while I discussed options with the groomer. (She even nervous-pooped a little, poor thing.) When they came to take her, she kept hiding behind me until they decided I would have to walk back with her. I didn't see her face when she discovered I'd gone back up front, but I'm sure she felt abandoned and betrayed.

I left Misty at the groomer's and went to work, with the intention of picking her up at 2:30 when I was off. I knew I was coming back but she, of course, did not. I imagined her as she got her bath and her de-shedding, hoping I would walk in the door at any moment. That's what makes a wait seem longer - when you don't know how long it'll last.

Today, as many of you know, I got an exciting e-mail. My internship has finally been approved! I have been waiting three weeks to find out whether the one thing standing in between me and graduation could finally be knocked out! My internship will be with the House of Pearls - a women's addiction ministry. I'm excited about this opportunity because I will be able to use both my Psychology and my Counseling aspects of my degree. The internship will run from May 18th to August 21st, about 8 hours a week.

As I was driving to the groomer's to pick up Misty, I thought about my own wait for my internship. It was agonizing. First, finding a place that wanted me to be their intern was a struggle. It wasn't until the day before my internship application was due that I found the House of Pearls. I had an interview and was offered the internship on the spot, and had to rush home to fill out the application and turn in a huge, challenging test (which btw, I passed!). Then I waited, and waited, and waited. I checked my e-mail about 10,000 times a day. I knew it would take a couple of weeks but something inside me was hoping it would magically appear in my inbox early. When it finally came, and I knew for sure I had the internship, I literally felt a huge weight lift off of my chest.

So often, we are put through challenging scenarios that we neither agree with nor understand. If it was up to me, my first internship application (the one for the current semester that was denied) would have been accepted. It it was up to me, I would be graduating in May. In the same way, if it was up to Misty, she wouldn't have gone to the groomer's at all. She would have kept that thick undercoat and traded off for a hot summer. Misty and I didn't know how long we'd have to wait, didn't know why we had to wait, and didn't really want to be going through the situation to begin with. But God had other plans.

How often do we struggle through life, not understanding our struggles and pains? How often do we agonize over waiting, checking the clock (or our e-mail) every 30 seconds? Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, we don't understand why we have to go through it at all. We might look at instances in our lives where doors have been shut (relationships, promotions, investments...) and wonder why God would deny something that was so obviously good for us. It's easy for us to see our own perspective and not understand God's perspective. Just like Misty didn't understand how much better off she would be from her trip to the groomer's, I struggled with not understanding why God wanted me to have this internship over the Spring one.

In reality, I may never understand God's reasoning for this, just like Misty may never understand that her not being as hot is a result of the groomer's. But when, at the end of this summer, I have completed my internship and will (God willing) finally have my degree, God will know that things were better this way. And I will trust Him in that. It is in this moment that I will celebrate His plan - however last-minute it may be. In this moment I can appreciate the fact that even though I don't understand, He has His reasons. I will celebrate all things, both big and small, because all are gifts I don't deserve.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord...

Jeremiah 29:11-14

He Knows

Several people have been asking about my internship, so I just wanted to take a moment to share where I am with that. I have found a place called the House of Pearls that would like me to be their intern over the summer. It is a women's addiction ministry. I would get the opportunity to use both counseling and psychology at this internship, so I really feel like it's perfect. I have applied for my internship to school, and part of the application is taking a huge psychology test. (They say you can use your general psychology textbook but I had every textbook I own lined on my table and had to jump all over.) It was a very hard test, and I don't know how I did. I cannot get the internship without passing this test. I most likely will not find out if my internship has been approved for several more weeks. They rejected my first internship application, so I'm pretty nervous. If I don't get the internship, I will have to find another site that wants me to be their intern and reapply in the fall. This internship is the only thing standing in between me and graduation.

Yesterday as I was about to leave work, I decided to share my anxiety about my internship with a lady I work with, Tracy. She is such a sweet, godly woman, and after I explained my situation to her, she prayed for me and told me that she felt a peace on her heart about the internship. As I was driving home from work, I was thinking about life after school. I imagined coming home and turning on the TV. I could do the dishes and do the laundry and even fold and put away the clean clothes. I could read all the books I wanted without feeling a drop of guilt. I looked at the crack across my windshield and before I could even entertain the thought of getting a new car, I felt God place something on my heart.

I know.

It sort of caught me off guard. These are things I don't bother to pray about. These are desires that I continually ignore. I have lived so much of my life avoiding want and excess that I barely allow myself to let my heart get attached to my wants. These things I was thinking of are desires of my heart that I have been choking for so long that I forgot that God would know them. I know He knows the deepest desires of our hearts, but I always focus on the big picture things. I spend my time thinking about how I can be a wife that honors Christ, about how I will one day parent my children to know Him as I do. These are the things I bring to him; these are the things I allow myself to want. But He knows the wants that I turn away everyday. He watches me turn my head away from the candy aisle when I grocery shop. He watches me drive my old but faithful car to and from work. He knows how much I would love to hook my phone up to the speakers in my car, how much I want to choose what I want to wear to work, how much I want to replace the linoleum floors in my kitchen.

He knows.

Here's another thing: He knows how horrible I feel when I lose my temper. He knows how much my heart twists when I see the hurt look on a friend's face that my words cause. He knows that every time I open my mouth, I am taking a huge risk.

He knows me, yet He loves me.

I'll never be good enough, polished enough, professional enough. I'll always have a baby face. I'll always be short. I'll probably always struggle with my words. I'll have to keep my sarcasm at bay everyday. Even with my flaws and, though I hate to admit it, my materialistic desires, He know me. He loves me. He cares.

My sweet friends - God knows. He knows about your big wants and your little wants. He know about the things you tell everyone about, and about the things you hide even from yourself. He knows the thoughts that go through your head when you look in the mirror. He knows the thoughts that go through your head when you look at your bank account.

He knows you. He loves you. And He cares for you.

"You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
You are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
You, LORD, know it completely."

Psalm 139:1-4

P.S. If this blog has touched your heart, I recommend reading all of Psalm 139. One of my favorite chapters in the Bible.

The Actions of Jesus

So, I've been doing this thing during my quiet time. I started thinking about being more like Jesus, and I decided that the best way to understand His life is to study it. (Duh.) But I mean, really study it. So a couple of months ago I started reading the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and underlining every action/verb/state of being that the Scriptures said about Jesus. I tallied the words as I went so that, in the end, I would have a nice list of what Jesus did and how often He did it. My studying looked like this:

It took much longer than it normally would have taken to read through the Gospels. Rather than read 8-10 chapters a day, I was reading 2-3. But my results were so cool.

So, when most people think about Jesus, they think about 2 things. First, they think about His healings. He cast out demons, healed the lame, sick, and blind, and even raised a few people from the dead. Definitely memorable. Secondly, people remember the crucifixion. Because saving the world is sort of a big deal, you know?

Here's what I discovered. Each Gospel describes a pattern. When Jesus first exposed Himself for who He truly was/is, He performed miracles and taught. He quoted Scripture, gathered a few followers, and *BOOM* healed people everywhere. Then He taught some more. And some more. And some more. He put the Pharisees and Sadducees in their places with His profound teachings. Even His disciples, the people He spent the most time with, didn't understand half of the stuff He said. Jesus spent the majority of His ministry teaching, not healing or dying. (Though, as we all know, it was the dying and coming back to life that mattered most.) To show my point, the top three verbs I found associated with Jesus in the Scriptures were said (300), replied (83), and went (80). To heal/healed/healing was associated with Jesus only 17 times. (He healed more people than that - there were some instances where the healing was implied without using that exact wording.)

Here's another thing I learned. When I picture Jesus, I picture a peaceful, calm, serene man. That is not Jesus. That's the Jesus we all want to think of, because we imagine Him as perfect. But truth is, Jesus wasn't always happy. There are multiple places in Scripture where Jesus was downright angry. (Try and picture a calm person knocking over tables in the temple. Not possible.) And here's where we have to take a pause and clarify that anger is not sin. Scripture says that in our anger we are not to sin (Ephesians 4:26) and that even the Lord Himself can sometimes get angry (Psalm 145:8). The difference between Jesus's anger and the anger that I struggle with due to my impatience is that Jesus's anger was righteous. Jesus was angry for the Kingdom of God. I get angry for the Kingdom of Sarah. Huge difference.

So, this post will be long because I am including my entire list of verbs/actions/state of beings of Jesus. In my list, you will see the word followed by a number. The number indicates the number of times I found this words associated with Jesus in Scripture. Now, I'm not going to claim that I have studied and restudied Scripture and am certain that this is a flawless number, because that is not the case. I tried my hardest, but I could have fallen short. I hope you can offer me grace if you find an area where I have fallen short. Second, there are some instances where words include parenthesized words. In this case, the word appears some times associated with the word in parentheses, and sometimes without. In English, sent (out) - 14 means that I found the word sent associated with Jesus 14 times, and some of those times it was the phrase "sent out." (I tried to shorten the list when I could.)

A Note to my Grammar Nazi Friends:
 First off, I chose the phrase "actions of Jesus" because I know that if I say "Verbs of Jesus" then some people will want me to clarify between verbs, helping verbs, states of being, blah blah blah. If that's what you pay attention to in this list, then you might want to take a closer look at what Jesus has to say to the Pharisees and Sadducees. Second, there are going to be all sorts of tenses in this list. There will be infinitives, past-tense verbs, and so on. Please understand that in the context of Scripture, they make sense, even if they seem to be lacking something by themselves.

So, here we go, the life of Jesus...

said - 300

replied - 83

went - 80

asked/asking - 63

answered - 59

told - 44

saw - 31

took - 25

gave - 24

called/called out/calling - 24

began - 23

looked/looking - 20

left - 19

say/saying - 18

was - 17

heal/healed/healing - 17

came - 17

prayed/praying - 15

sent (out) - 14

entered - 14

teaching - 13

sat - 11

rebuked - 11

found - 11

withdrew - 10

touched - 10

knew - 10

gave thanks - 10

(had) finished - 9

taught - 8

stood (up)  - 8

spoke - 8

got (back) into - 7

broke - 7

stayed - 6

returned - 6

reached (out) - 6

heard - 6

drove/driving (out) - 6

continued - 6

warned - 5

to teach - 5

to speak - 5

put - 5

proclaiming - 5

knowing - 5

got up - 5

appeared - 5

went on to say/tell - 4

was hungry - 4

was going - 4

walking - 4

speaking - 4

reclined/reclining - 4

preach/preached/preaching - 4

placed - 4

ordered - 4

made - 4

loved - 4

had given thanks - 4

had compassion - 4

crossed - 4

cried out - 4

approached/approaching - 4

was talking - 3

was sitting - 3

was baptized - 3

was amazed - 3

walked - 3

traveled - 3

to pray - 3

stopped - 3

spit - 3

spent (the night) - 3

led - 3

declared - 3

commanded - 3

breathed - 3

arrived - 3

(to) say - 3

baptized/baptizing - 2

would not allow - 2

wept - 2

was troubled (in spirit) - 2

was transfigured - 2

was tempted - 2

was telling - 2

was teaching - 2

was taken up - 2

was sleeping - 2

was led by the Spirit - 2

was in - 2

was doing - 2

was deeply moved - 2

to leave - 2

taking - 2

stepped (into)  - 2

showed - 2

rose - 2

remaiend silent - 2

overturned - 2

meant - 2

lifted - 2

let - 2

lay/laying -  2

landed - 2

hid - 2

had gone - 2

go/going - 2

gave orders - 2

finished - 2

fell - 2

dismissed - 2

directed - 2

did not want - 2

did - 2

blessed - 2

bent down/over - 2

aware - 2

ate - 2

appointed - 2

telling - 1

wrote - 1

wrapped - 1

would not let - 1

would not entrust - 1

welcomed - 1

watched - 1

washing - 1

was standing - 1

was speaking - 1

was returning to - 1

was recognized - 1

was praying - 1

was obedient - 1

was near - 1

was met - 1

was led - 1

was leaving - 1

was having dinner - 1

was getting into - 1

was gaining - 1

was eating - 1

was distressed - 1

was condemned - 1

was coming - 1

was blessing - 1

was being - 1

was accused - 1

want - 1

used - 1

turning - 1

turned - 1

took off - 1

to write - 1

to wash - 1

to test - 1

to stay - 1

to spend the night - 1

to show - 1

to show - 1

to send - 1

to give - 1

to drive out - 1

testified - 1

taken - 1

straightened up - 1

stooped down - 1

started -1

slipping away - 1

sighed - 1

shone - 1

set out - 1

roled up - 1

revealed - 1

refuesd - 1

realized - 1

put on - 1

poured - 1

pointed out - 1

performed - 1

opened - 1

noticed - 1

no longer moved about - 1

moved - 1

met - 1

made no reply - 1

lived - 1

listening - 1

leaving - 1

learned - 1

knelt down - 1

kept on - 1

joined - 1

instructed - 1

increased - 1

helped - 1

had to go - 1

had spoken - 1

had silenced - 1

had raised - 1

had not entered - 1

had known - 1

had in mind - 1

had given - 1

had come from - 1

grew up - 1

got out - 1

gone - 1

gave up his spirit - 1

gave sight to - 1

gave no answer - 1

full of the Holy Spirit - 1

full of joy - 1

fell asleep - 1

fasted - 1

explained - 1

escaped - 1

drying - 1

divided - 1

distributed - 1

dipping - 1

did not wash - 1

did not take - 1

did not say - 1

did not need - 1

denounce - 1

demanded - 1

decided - 1

cured - 1

could not keep - 1

could not do - 1

coming - 1

climbed - 1

chose - 1

caught - 1

came down - 1

bowed - 1

became  1

added - 1

The Presence of God

You know that moment when you read a passage in Scripture that you've read a thousand times and suddenly you see it in a new light? That happened to me this morning. I was reading Luke 10: 38-41, a passage about Mary and Martha. Now, most of you women probably think you know where I'm going with this. Don't be too busy. Don't forget to take the time to spend with the Lord. Just hang in there with me, okay?

Verse 40 says, "But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!'"

I have a confession. Lately I have felt alone in my Christian faith. I know that God is with me, of course, but sometimes I look around me and wonder if anyone else gets it. I'm over here reading my Bible daily, praying, and living every day trying to glorify God. I look around me and say to God, "Don't you see how hard I'm working? Why isn't everyone else?"

Let's hit the pause button for a second. Spiritual discipline is necessary for spiritual growth. I am not downplaying the importance of spiritual disciple. However, the faith journey without relationship is empty. A body without a heart is a robot, right? In order to grow in our faith, we need spiritual discipline and relationship.

In verse 41, Jesus responds. "'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'"

My wonderful, godly friends, please know that your relationship with God is not defined by your relationship with your Bible. You are not defined by the underlinings and frayed pages. You are defined by your submission to Christ. You are loved. You are known. You are not loved because you choose to love God. 1 John 4:19 says that God loved us first. You don't have sit down and read your Bible for half an hour in order to come into the presence of God. You don't have to turn on worship music in order to come into the presence of God. You don't have to prepare your heart to come into the presence of God. All you have to do to come into the presence of God is go into the presence of God. Did Mary prepare things for Jesus so that he would be comfortable before she came into his presence? Did she fuss about her hair? Did she spend 10 minutes of quiet time analyzing her spiritual life? No, no, no. She saw Him. She went to Him. She sat down. And she listened.

There is no formula for a spiritual experience. There is no set standard for worshiping God. There is no "order of events" that needs to take place for you to feel His love. I want to invite you today to come into His presence. Don't worry about preparing your heart in advance so you can truly mean it when you apologize for your sin. Don't worry about reading Scripture so that you can understand who He is better. Take some time, quiet your spirit, and approach God. Remember, He loved us first. He's waiting for you.

Why I'm Passionate about Stewardship

This semester (Which btw is my last semester taking classes!) I am taking a class on Women's Counseling. I watched a presentation yesterday that was a little mind-boggling. It was about women and finances. The presentation was about how a woman got herself into and out of $100,000 of credit card debt. She simply couldn't control her spending habits. She lived a life constantly wanting new things and attempting to deceive her husband about how much money she was actually spending. Her tips for getting out of debt weren't what blew my mind. The mind-blowing concept for me was how people perceive money.

I get it - we live in a society that is all about want. We want new clothes, we want wrinkle-cream, we want a new car, we want another degree so we can do something else. We live in a society that is constantly changing. There is always new technology and new trends. You are simply out-of-date without a smart phone, right? Newsflash: we have been brainwashed to want. Have you figured it out yet? Since you were a child, you were taught to want. Whether you were looking through the Sear's magazines and circling everything you wanted or looking in store windows or wanting the cool toy your friend had, you have been wanting things since you were a child. You were encouraged to want things. That's why your parents brought you to sit on Santa's lap, right? That's why you were forced to watch commercials between your favorite TV shows, right? The crazy thing about want is that it snowballs. We start out wanting one small thing, then it grows to wanting something else. Soon we catch ourselves thinking I'll be happy if I only had this one thing. Ever found yourself thinking that? Ever thought that you'll truly be happy once you find true love? Or you'll truly be happy once your boyfriend finally pops the question? Maybe you'll truly be happy once you replace your old car with a newer, nicer one? Or once you get that promotion you've been wanting?

Some of you might think this is the most boring thing on the planet, but I am passionate about stewardship. I know, right? Ugh - stewardship. But seriously, stewardship is one of my favorite topics. I am constantly thinking about stewardship - constantly asking myself if I'm being a good steward. Let's start with the basics and get it out of the way...

What does it mean to be a good steward?
I've written a little about stewardship before in my blog about why I love working about Chick-fil-A. Stewardship is basically taking responsibility for how you use your money, time, and things. Being a good steward means financial responsibility, yes, but it also includes a lot of different areas. It means not being wasteful (Can I get a WOOHOO from my Green friends?). Being a good steward means taking care of your things so they last longer. You can be a good steward by not buying things at the grocery store that you know your family won't eat, no matter how delicious it sounds at the time. You can be a good steward of your body by taking care of yourself and getting enough sleep. You can be a good steward of your time by separating work and home life and knowing your limits.

As you can see, there are infinite opportunities for stewardship. The trick is learning to see them. I'll admit, stewardship is a relatively new concept in my life. When I married Michael, I knew I was marrying a saver, but I had no idea how much it was ingrained into his lifestyle. Michael is by no means a penny pincher, but he certainly won't protest to saving a few bucks. Over time I began to understand his lifestyle. At first, when I knew how much money we were saving, I thought, "Oh great! We can buy so many new things!" And while, yes, this is the purpose of money, I was wanting to buy things just to buy things. I wasn't separating my needs and my wants. I learned that the most important part of being a good steward is:

Living withing your means!
I know, I know, we all hear it and we all think we're doing it. Here's the deal about living within your means: if you have to use credit, you're not living within your means. I'm not saying to avoid using credit cards, because Michael and I regularly use our credit cards, but we don't use our credit cards for their intended purpose. We pay off our entire balance every month. We only use the cards to build our credit (and to earn points!). If you actually have to use your credit card to avoid paying for something, or if you have to wait to pay bills until the next month, you're not living within your means. Plain and simple.

Another key aspect to being a good steward is..

Small things add up!
This is my personal favorite part of stewardship. I love to save money, even if it's only a few cents. I do this through my Target RedCard (Which btw saved me over $200 last year!) and the Target Cartwheel (a coupon app on my phone). The biggest opportunity I have to be a good steward is when I grocery shop, especially since I do my grocery shopping at Target. There are temptations everywhere. I never realize that I need new decor until I walk through target. I never think about getting Misty a new dog collar until I pass the pet aisle. When I go to the grocery store, I have to be super intentional about only buying the essentials. Eggs, pasta, cheese, milk, you know.... I buy ingredients for meals I know how to make, and I leave. I pass the cereal aisle. I pass the snack aisle. I pass the candy aisle. Essentials only. Grocery shopping isn't a complete drag though because I do allow myself to...

Splurge on the important things.
When I grocery shop, splurging looks like sodas and Digorno stuffed-crust pizza. Michael and I avoid regularly eating at fast-food restaurants partly because we work in one, and mostly because we want to save our money to go somewhere nicer.  Want to celebrate getting an A on a paper? Go for it! Need a weekend vacation to get away from your stressful job? Book it! When you save money on the small things, you can spend money on the things you want to spend money on. Which brings me to my final point.

Prioritize.
Everyone's priorities are different. Maybe splurging on getting massages is really important to you, maybe it's not. Maybe getting triple-ply toilet paper is a must have, maybe you buy the cheapest brand possible. The important part is not spending unnecessary money on things that are low on the priority list.

And here's where my challenge begins. If you're in debt, look at that amount of money that you owe and ask yourself if you know where it went. Chances are, if you know where it went, it was important. If you don't know where it went, it probably wasn't. Ask yourself, were those extra trips to McDonald's really worth it? Is living in discomfort now worth the temporary joy that you felt when you bought "the cutest top ever made"? Look, I'm not telling you to save as much money as possible so that your savings account could pay your entire mortgage alone. We can't take money with us when we die, so it doesn't make sense to build it up for nothing. I'm just suggesting that we pay attention to where we spend our money so that we can spend it on the things that matter. After all, there is nothing worse than having bills piling up to your eyeballs, right?



Random Fact: Money fights or differences in spending habits are the leading cause of divorce. Getting on the same page as your spouse will save more than a few bucks!

The Power of the Fitbit

Before I start, I want to give a quick shoutout to my main man Jesus. Last July I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. After taking the medicine for a month, I had to stop it because it made my heart feel like it was pounding all the time. Yesterday, after several months off of the medicine, I went in to have my blood re-tested and my levels were completely normal! As in EXACLY halfway between the two ends of the ranges! While my hypothyroidism will most likely come back at some point in my life, I am praising God that right now I can celebrate the normal!

Now, on to my newest discovery - the Fitbit. My sister and brother-in-law asked for Fitbits for Christmas and I had no idea what they were. When they showed them to me, I was totally blown away, and I decided to use my Christmas money to buy one. This is my Fitbit:

It's a Fitbit Flex, and it's $99. This isn't the nicest one Fitbit has to offer, but it certainly does a lot. First, it's a pedometer. It counts my steps. I wear it on my wrist and it monitors my arm movements. A lot of people have asked me if it logs steps just by moving my arm. I was curious myself when I first got it, so I looked it up. While it sometimes does accidentally clock steps, it has a 3-point algorithm that only clocks a step when my arm has moved both front to back and slightly up. And considering that it doesn't count steps when you're holding or carrying something, the small amount of mistakes it might make are compensated for.

The Fitbit wireless syncs to my phone. It converts the number of steps I take into the number of calories I've burned and the mileage I've walked. My goal is to walk 10,000 steps a day, and I feel really pumped when I see that I walked 5 miles.

Second, the Fitbit monitors your sleep patterns. I put it in sleep mode and wear it to bed and it monitors how much I move in my sleep. My sleep graphs look like this:

The pink lines represent the amount of time I was asleep, the light blue lines represent the amount of time I was restless, and the dark blue represents the amount of time I was asleep. Last night I slept for 7 hours and 55 minutes, and I was restless 13 times. You can also set your Fitbit up to have a silent alarm. You do this through the app in your phone, and it vibrates to wake you up! (Great for me on the mornings when I have to be at work at 5am.)

Finally, you can also use the Fitbit app to monitor your eating patterns. You can log your calories by scanning a barcode or searching for that food. I don't use this part of the app but I tried it for a day and it was really cool! You can also track the amount of water that you drink. I like this part of the app because I've been trying to drink more water. The goal set in the app is to drink 64-oz of water, or 8 cups. I've only reached my goal once since I got the Fitbit. (In case you're curious, 64-oz equals 2 full Newk's cups.)

You can also link your app with your friends, and challenge your friends. Veronica (my coworker) and I are doing a challenge this week to see who can walk the most steps in the week. The only thing that I don't like about this part of the app is that it's not very user-friendly. You have to know the e-mail address of someone in order to add them as a friend. I wish I could sync it up with my Facebook so that I could add my Facebook friends! Maybe that'll be in the next update?

What I like most about the Fitbit is that it encourages you to have a healthy lifestyle. Wearing a Fitbit is a constant reminder to make better choices. Every time I look down at my wrist, I know I need to walk more, drink more water, or sleep more. It's a constant reminder that healthy choices can be easy and add up little by little! (Cool side note: the Fitbit vibrates when you have reached your 10,000 step goal!)

Living a healthy lifestyle isn't just about looking good. I have tried to constantly remind myself that being healthy for that purpose alone isn't worth it. I try to be healthy to honor God. I have been given two legs, a great set of lungs, and a healthy heart. God gave me a healthy body and I can honor Him by taking care of it! After all, Scripture says...

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

The Value of Sacrifice

As most of my Facebook friends know, I have been having quite the journey dealing with my dogs over the past year. I have Misty, my incredibly sweet, timid, and independent dog that I've had for over 3 years. Last March, Michael and I decided to get another dog, and we got Rocky. Our sweet Rocky was so incredibly sick and died after we had him for just a week. And finally, in April, we got Bailey. Bailey was the opposite of what we wanted, and yet I held onto a hope that she could calm down and become the loving companion that we wanted. Bailey was the worst puppy on the planet. During the first month that we had her, she was waking me up 4-6 times a night because she was lonely. By 6am she was ready for her morning puppy sprints and she was up for the day. She had more accidents than I ever imagined was even physically possible, and I cleaned up more poop than I care to remember. She was loud, hyper, and destructive. I spent months upon months trying to "fix" her.

During my months with Bailey, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am not as good at dog training as I thought. I learned that I can be patient and calm when I choose to be. (I'll be the first to admit that I've struggled with snapping at others my entire life.) And, most importantly, I learned that my body deals with stress in a very physical way. About halfway through my time with Bailey, I learned that I have hypothyroidism. My thyroid is under active. This also occasionally causes a heart arrhythmia, or an irregular heart beat. I learned that when I get stressed, my heart feels like it's pounding and I experience shortness of breath. This does not go away until I relax for an extended amount of time. 

During the past couple of weeks, taking care of my body has really been on my heart. After experiencing an especially stressful period, I knew that I had to get this under control. I knew that it meant bringing Bailey back to Heavensown, where we got her. It was a heartbreaking decision, but a necessary one. I realized that I was sacrificing my own health for a dog. (Please don't read too much into that. My health problems are not serious, just annoying.) I realized that all of my time and energy was going into something that, at the end of the day, does not further the kingdom of God. And that's why I had to let go.

What I truly realized was the value of sacrifice. We all value sacrifice. We honor those who make great sacrifices for others. We all live life knowing that we'll have to make sacrifices, have to give up what we want or need with others. At some point along the way, I started putting so much value in sacrifice that I overdid it. I stopped saying "no" to others, including a dog. I gave her all of my time and energy because I thought it was the "right" thing to do. I was left empty and drained. My temper was shorter, I didn't want to go out and spend time with others, my heart was always pounding, the list goes on and on. For a dog. 

Reality is, we only have so much that we can give of ourslelves. Even if we want to give the world, we all have limited means. When you give all of yourself to one thing, you're stealing part of yourself from other places. I wasn't being the loving wife that Michael needed me to be and I certainly wasn't being the patient leader that I needed to be. All for a dog.

Sacrifice is a valuable thing. It's not something we can freely give out. We do not honor God by sacrificing ourslelves for insignificant things. Never saying no is not as giving as we think it is! I know that most of my readers are women, and I know that women have this innate desire to give themselves away. Consider this: does your sacrifice further the kingdom of God? Does your sacrifice unintentionally give away time or energy that is more valuable elsewhere? Are you being a good steward of your sacrifice?

I know I am not the only person who has lost balance here. And I definitely know people who are more generous than I am! Sacrifice is important and necessary, but it's not always necessary. Saying no means that you can say yes later!