Blind Trust

"But blessed are those who trust int he Lord,

whose confidence is in Him.

They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

it does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Today Misty took her first trip to the groomer's. I've been debating whether or not to take her for a while, and I finally decided to bite the bullet. The deciding factor was the fact that after walking a mile at night she was starting to overheat. (Oh, the woes of a long-haired dog.) Anyway, we get to the groomer's this morning and the second we walk inside, she decides that she has made a huge mistake. I don't know if it was the smell or the small foyer, but she decided it was not somewhere she wanted to be. She started shaking and huddled in the corner while I discussed options with the groomer. (She even nervous-pooped a little, poor thing.) When they came to take her, she kept hiding behind me until they decided I would have to walk back with her. I didn't see her face when she discovered I'd gone back up front, but I'm sure she felt abandoned and betrayed.

I left Misty at the groomer's and went to work, with the intention of picking her up at 2:30 when I was off. I knew I was coming back but she, of course, did not. I imagined her as she got her bath and her de-shedding, hoping I would walk in the door at any moment. That's what makes a wait seem longer - when you don't know how long it'll last.

Today, as many of you know, I got an exciting e-mail. My internship has finally been approved! I have been waiting three weeks to find out whether the one thing standing in between me and graduation could finally be knocked out! My internship will be with the House of Pearls - a women's addiction ministry. I'm excited about this opportunity because I will be able to use both my Psychology and my Counseling aspects of my degree. The internship will run from May 18th to August 21st, about 8 hours a week.

As I was driving to the groomer's to pick up Misty, I thought about my own wait for my internship. It was agonizing. First, finding a place that wanted me to be their intern was a struggle. It wasn't until the day before my internship application was due that I found the House of Pearls. I had an interview and was offered the internship on the spot, and had to rush home to fill out the application and turn in a huge, challenging test (which btw, I passed!). Then I waited, and waited, and waited. I checked my e-mail about 10,000 times a day. I knew it would take a couple of weeks but something inside me was hoping it would magically appear in my inbox early. When it finally came, and I knew for sure I had the internship, I literally felt a huge weight lift off of my chest.

So often, we are put through challenging scenarios that we neither agree with nor understand. If it was up to me, my first internship application (the one for the current semester that was denied) would have been accepted. It it was up to me, I would be graduating in May. In the same way, if it was up to Misty, she wouldn't have gone to the groomer's at all. She would have kept that thick undercoat and traded off for a hot summer. Misty and I didn't know how long we'd have to wait, didn't know why we had to wait, and didn't really want to be going through the situation to begin with. But God had other plans.

How often do we struggle through life, not understanding our struggles and pains? How often do we agonize over waiting, checking the clock (or our e-mail) every 30 seconds? Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, we don't understand why we have to go through it at all. We might look at instances in our lives where doors have been shut (relationships, promotions, investments...) and wonder why God would deny something that was so obviously good for us. It's easy for us to see our own perspective and not understand God's perspective. Just like Misty didn't understand how much better off she would be from her trip to the groomer's, I struggled with not understanding why God wanted me to have this internship over the Spring one.

In reality, I may never understand God's reasoning for this, just like Misty may never understand that her not being as hot is a result of the groomer's. But when, at the end of this summer, I have completed my internship and will (God willing) finally have my degree, God will know that things were better this way. And I will trust Him in that. It is in this moment that I will celebrate His plan - however last-minute it may be. In this moment I can appreciate the fact that even though I don't understand, He has His reasons. I will celebrate all things, both big and small, because all are gifts I don't deserve.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord...

Jeremiah 29:11-14