The Value of Sacrifice

As most of my Facebook friends know, I have been having quite the journey dealing with my dogs over the past year. I have Misty, my incredibly sweet, timid, and independent dog that I've had for over 3 years. Last March, Michael and I decided to get another dog, and we got Rocky. Our sweet Rocky was so incredibly sick and died after we had him for just a week. And finally, in April, we got Bailey. Bailey was the opposite of what we wanted, and yet I held onto a hope that she could calm down and become the loving companion that we wanted. Bailey was the worst puppy on the planet. During the first month that we had her, she was waking me up 4-6 times a night because she was lonely. By 6am she was ready for her morning puppy sprints and she was up for the day. She had more accidents than I ever imagined was even physically possible, and I cleaned up more poop than I care to remember. She was loud, hyper, and destructive. I spent months upon months trying to "fix" her.

During my months with Bailey, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am not as good at dog training as I thought. I learned that I can be patient and calm when I choose to be. (I'll be the first to admit that I've struggled with snapping at others my entire life.) And, most importantly, I learned that my body deals with stress in a very physical way. About halfway through my time with Bailey, I learned that I have hypothyroidism. My thyroid is under active. This also occasionally causes a heart arrhythmia, or an irregular heart beat. I learned that when I get stressed, my heart feels like it's pounding and I experience shortness of breath. This does not go away until I relax for an extended amount of time. 

During the past couple of weeks, taking care of my body has really been on my heart. After experiencing an especially stressful period, I knew that I had to get this under control. I knew that it meant bringing Bailey back to Heavensown, where we got her. It was a heartbreaking decision, but a necessary one. I realized that I was sacrificing my own health for a dog. (Please don't read too much into that. My health problems are not serious, just annoying.) I realized that all of my time and energy was going into something that, at the end of the day, does not further the kingdom of God. And that's why I had to let go.

What I truly realized was the value of sacrifice. We all value sacrifice. We honor those who make great sacrifices for others. We all live life knowing that we'll have to make sacrifices, have to give up what we want or need with others. At some point along the way, I started putting so much value in sacrifice that I overdid it. I stopped saying "no" to others, including a dog. I gave her all of my time and energy because I thought it was the "right" thing to do. I was left empty and drained. My temper was shorter, I didn't want to go out and spend time with others, my heart was always pounding, the list goes on and on. For a dog. 

Reality is, we only have so much that we can give of ourslelves. Even if we want to give the world, we all have limited means. When you give all of yourself to one thing, you're stealing part of yourself from other places. I wasn't being the loving wife that Michael needed me to be and I certainly wasn't being the patient leader that I needed to be. All for a dog.

Sacrifice is a valuable thing. It's not something we can freely give out. We do not honor God by sacrificing ourslelves for insignificant things. Never saying no is not as giving as we think it is! I know that most of my readers are women, and I know that women have this innate desire to give themselves away. Consider this: does your sacrifice further the kingdom of God? Does your sacrifice unintentionally give away time or energy that is more valuable elsewhere? Are you being a good steward of your sacrifice?

I know I am not the only person who has lost balance here. And I definitely know people who are more generous than I am! Sacrifice is important and necessary, but it's not always necessary. Saying no means that you can say yes later!