This semester (Which btw is my last semester taking classes!) I am taking a class on Women's Counseling. I watched a presentation yesterday that was a little mind-boggling. It was about women and finances. The presentation was about how a woman got herself into and out of $100,000 of credit card debt. She simply couldn't control her spending habits. She lived a life constantly wanting new things and attempting to deceive her husband about how much money she was actually spending. Her tips for getting out of debt weren't what blew my mind. The mind-blowing concept for me was how people perceive money.
I get it - we live in a society that is all about want. We want new clothes, we want wrinkle-cream, we want a new car, we want another degree so we can do something else. We live in a society that is constantly changing. There is always new technology and new trends. You are simply out-of-date without a smart phone, right? Newsflash: we have been brainwashed to want. Have you figured it out yet? Since you were a child, you were taught to want. Whether you were looking through the Sear's magazines and circling everything you wanted or looking in store windows or wanting the cool toy your friend had, you have been wanting things since you were a child. You were encouraged to want things. That's why your parents brought you to sit on Santa's lap, right? That's why you were forced to watch commercials between your favorite TV shows, right? The crazy thing about want is that it snowballs. We start out wanting one small thing, then it grows to wanting something else. Soon we catch ourselves thinking I'll be happy if I only had this one thing. Ever found yourself thinking that? Ever thought that you'll truly be happy once you find true love? Or you'll truly be happy once your boyfriend finally pops the question? Maybe you'll truly be happy once you replace your old car with a newer, nicer one? Or once you get that promotion you've been wanting?
Some of you might think this is the most boring thing on the planet, but I am passionate about stewardship. I know, right? Ugh - stewardship. But seriously, stewardship is one of my favorite topics. I am constantly thinking about stewardship - constantly asking myself if I'm being a good steward. Let's start with the basics and get it out of the way...
What does it mean to be a good steward?
I've written a little about stewardship before in my blog about why I love working about Chick-fil-A. Stewardship is basically taking responsibility for how you use your money, time, and things. Being a good steward means financial responsibility, yes, but it also includes a lot of different areas. It means not being wasteful (Can I get a WOOHOO from my Green friends?). Being a good steward means taking care of your things so they last longer. You can be a good steward by not buying things at the grocery store that you know your family won't eat, no matter how delicious it sounds at the time. You can be a good steward of your body by taking care of yourself and getting enough sleep. You can be a good steward of your time by separating work and home life and knowing your limits.
As you can see, there are infinite opportunities for stewardship. The trick is learning to see them. I'll admit, stewardship is a relatively new concept in my life. When I married Michael, I knew I was marrying a saver, but I had no idea how much it was ingrained into his lifestyle. Michael is by no means a penny pincher, but he certainly won't protest to saving a few bucks. Over time I began to understand his lifestyle. At first, when I knew how much money we were saving, I thought, "Oh great! We can buy so many new things!" And while, yes, this is the purpose of money, I was wanting to buy things just to buy things. I wasn't separating my needs and my wants. I learned that the most important part of being a good steward is:
Living withing your means!
I know, I know, we all hear it and we all think we're doing it. Here's the deal about living within your means: if you have to use credit, you're not living within your means. I'm not saying to avoid using credit cards, because Michael and I regularly use our credit cards, but we don't use our credit cards for their intended purpose. We pay off our entire balance every month. We only use the cards to build our credit (and to earn points!). If you actually have to use your credit card to avoid paying for something, or if you have to wait to pay bills until the next month, you're not living within your means. Plain and simple.
Another key aspect to being a good steward is..
Small things add up!
This is my personal favorite part of stewardship. I love to save money, even if it's only a few cents. I do this through my Target RedCard (Which btw saved me over $200 last year!) and the Target Cartwheel (a coupon app on my phone). The biggest opportunity I have to be a good steward is when I grocery shop, especially since I do my grocery shopping at Target. There are temptations everywhere. I never realize that I need new decor until I walk through target. I never think about getting Misty a new dog collar until I pass the pet aisle. When I go to the grocery store, I have to be super intentional about only buying the essentials. Eggs, pasta, cheese, milk, you know.... I buy ingredients for meals I know how to make, and I leave. I pass the cereal aisle. I pass the snack aisle. I pass the candy aisle. Essentials only. Grocery shopping isn't a complete drag though because I do allow myself to...
Splurge on the important things.
When I grocery shop, splurging looks like sodas and Digorno stuffed-crust pizza. Michael and I avoid regularly eating at fast-food restaurants partly because we work in one, and mostly because we want to save our money to go somewhere nicer. Want to celebrate getting an A on a paper? Go for it! Need a weekend vacation to get away from your stressful job? Book it! When you save money on the small things, you can spend money on the things you want to spend money on. Which brings me to my final point.
Prioritize.
Everyone's priorities are different. Maybe splurging on getting massages is really important to you, maybe it's not. Maybe getting triple-ply toilet paper is a must have, maybe you buy the cheapest brand possible. The important part is not spending unnecessary money on things that are low on the priority list.
And here's where my challenge begins. If you're in debt, look at that amount of money that you owe and ask yourself if you know where it went. Chances are, if you know where it went, it was important. If you don't know where it went, it probably wasn't. Ask yourself, were those extra trips to McDonald's really worth it? Is living in discomfort now worth the temporary joy that you felt when you bought "the cutest top ever made"? Look, I'm not telling you to save as much money as possible so that your savings account could pay your entire mortgage alone. We can't take money with us when we die, so it doesn't make sense to build it up for nothing. I'm just suggesting that we pay attention to where we spend our money so that we can spend it on the things that matter. After all, there is nothing worse than having bills piling up to your eyeballs, right?
Random Fact: Money fights or differences in spending habits are the leading cause of divorce. Getting on the same page as your spouse will save more than a few bucks!
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