Oh The Places You'll Go

Update on the caffeine fast:

IT WAS HORRIBLE! I will never do a caffeine fast again! I had a headache the entire time. I have never believed in caffeine withdrawal. I thought people were just making it up as an excuse to drink caffeine. I had no idea that caffeine withdrawal is an actual thing. Your body can become chemically dependent on caffeine when you have as little as 100 mg a day (one cup of coffee). That's it. I thought I was responsible with my caffeine. I thought that by committing to a caffeine fast I was committing to fighting through those tired moments I get at 2 every day. I had no idea I was committing to constant, painful headaches. That NEVER stopped. My caffeine fast was more challenging than when I fasted from all food completely for a week. It was the most challenging thing I have ever put myself through. I was seriously not prepared for that.

On to the next topic: graduation!

Not me, unfortunately. I'm still a year away. But I was invited to speak at a graduation this past Saturday. It was certainly an experience that I never thought I'd find myself in. I was the guest speaker. Weird. When I first got to the church, it was HUGE! Seriously, I couldn't even figure out the parking lot. I drove all over the place trying to figure out where to go. When I found the sanctuary, I was the only one there. The church could easily sit a thousand people, if not more. I looked at that giant auditorium and I thought, Oh my word what have I gotten myself into. One of the moms came to show me where to go and I asked her if she thought the auditorium would be full.

"Oh, I don't know. We invited 60 people for Ashley."

At first I thought she said 16 people. I even said, "Wow, for a second I thought you said 60. You said 16, right?" No, she said 60. I think my eyebrows met my hairline.

I then learned that there were only 4 graduates. Hallelujah! It was a homeschool graduation, and I've never been to a homeschool graduation before. When I got a program I looked at the order of events to figure out if I was the first speaker. I had no idea I was the only speaker. I wasn't really nervous about speaking - I've talked at YoungLife in front of 100+ teens before, but I wasn't mentally prepared to be the main speaker. I thought I'd just be a side show.

When the graduation started I could tell things were going way too fast. They were definitely getting to my place on that program way before they were supposed to. Next thing I knew I was up on that stage staring at about 100 strangers.

The talk wasn't that hard, but I'd forgotten a really important part of public speaking for me. I don't usually speak for long periods of time in day to day life, and I'm not exactly loud. When I combine projecting my voice and speaking for several minutes, my voice gets a little shaky. If I practice too much ahead of time, it gets bad. And I'd only written the speech the night before, so I'd practiced a lot that morning.

I didn't remember this nice little fact until about halfway through my speech. I was looking at the crowd and I heard my voice start to shake and I knew there was no going back. Pretty much that's the only part of the speech that I remember. Because it drives me crazy. I wasn't nervous at all, but my voice couldn't handle it. The good thing was, I knew my topic and I was confident in it. Everyone I talked to after said I did great and that my voice wasn't that bad.

Here's the real magic to this whole thing. In eighth grade, my nickname was "Silent Sarah." I used to be so shy. I hated public speaking. Slowly, over time God started to give me the ability to do something I never thought possible. When I started YoungLife, I had no idea I was committing myself to regular speaking. Actually, when I went to my first YoungLife event I watched the speaker and I thought, surely they won't ever ask me to do that. I'm just a volunteer. I was wrong, so wrong.

Here's the amazing part about our comfort zones - they're just in our heads. When we let go of our comfort zones and allow God to change our hearts and strengths, we can go places we never thought we'd go. Like speaking in front on 100+ teens you don't know, or speaking at a graduation. God doesn't ask us to be great at everything, but He does ask us to be willing to do whatever He asks.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 8:12, "For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have."  God cares that we're willing to do His will, not if we have the vocal chords to handle it. He cares that we're willing to step out of our comfort zones to depend on Him. When we depend on God, we glorify Him. Even if we absolutely slaughter whatever we're attempting, we glorify Him. Think about all the places you can go if you stop caring about what others think. What is that one thing you swear to yourself you would never do? What would it take for you to get to a place comfortable to do that? What's holding you back?

“Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.” 
- Dr. Seusse, Oh The Places You'll Go