New Eyes

I have recently finished reading the entire Bible, cover to cover, for the first time - and in under a year! It was challenging, sometimes boring or confusing, and often encouraging. The spark that started the flame was a Bible history class that I took when I began taking classes at Liberty. This class explained every single book of the Bible. I learned the history and context of each book, as well as all of the main themes. Guys, this class changed my life.

In the past when I read the Bible, I looked for encouragement. I looked for those frilly verses that made me feel good. Then I underlined them or circled them like I was giving them my mark of approval. I read through Scripture looking for only what  I thought would make me feel good, and often got bored or lost motivation. But this time was different. God blessed me with new eyes to read. When I read, I recognized those things I studied in my class. At first, I'll admit, I kept reading because I was trying to remember what happened before I read about what happened. It was almost like a little game for me. As I continued to read, God changed my heart.

For me, the New Testament has never been difficult to read. You read about Jesus, you read about the early Christians, you read a little encouragement, then you read about the end of the world (which, admittedly, is VERY confusing). It was the Old Testament that lost me. I was lucky if I made it to Joseph (who is in GENESIS, might  I add). This time I had different motivations for both. When I started, I was reading the New Testament, specifically the Gospels, looking for ideas or things to talk about in YoungLife. YoungLife only teaches out of the Gospels. I was forced to read the stories I'd read a million times with a new light, because I was looking for something that could encourage or teach a new Christian. I was learning how to read with my new eyes.

The Old Testament began, like I said earlier, as a little competition with myself. In order to keep myself feeling "full", I read 3 chapters of the Old Testament and 3 chapters of the New Testament every day (or almost every day). I started incorporating my new way of reading to the Old Testament, and soon I was seeing things in Scripture I'd never seen before. I began seeing the people as people, rather than superheroes. I saw Moses' flaws. I understood that Saul was a bad guy. I knew that the prophets were seen my the culture around them as eccentric weirdoes.

By the time I got to Psalms, my entire way of reading the Bible was completely different. I began thinking about those verses that I'd underlined or circled. I began wondering why I'd marked them. And then I realized that it didn't really matter if I'd marked them because I had no way to reference them. Basically I was just reassuring myself that I knew the pretty verses everyone else knew. (HINT: That's probably not the best way to read Scripture.) So I got this little notebook. Every time a Scripture or passage stood out to me, I wrote it down. And I wrote down the main topic of the Scripture. Then I made this database on Access and started plugging in the different verses with their keywords. Now if I have a bad day, I can reference my database. If someone asks me what the Bible says about lying, I can look it up. (Admittedly, no one has really ever asked me what the Bible says about anything, which is another topic completely.) Since I started my database more than halfway through my reading, I've got a lot that I can still add, but I already have over 350 verses.

The point of all of this is to challenge my Christian friends to read God's word with new eyes. Pray that God opens your heart to all parts of His Scripture, not just the pretty parts. Think about writing verses down that you underline, because it could be months or even years before you get back to that Scripture again. Think about God's Word as a love story. The entire book is a love story about God and His people. Think BIG PICTURE, and the tiny, confusing or boring parts won't seem so difficult to digest anymore. It's not important that you remember the difference between Elisha and Elijah, or that you can pronounce Nebuchadneezar (who I always picture as a giant cucumber). The important thing is that you understand God's love for His people, despite their sin, despite their rebellion. Maybe your life will be changed too.

Open Water

You take life too seriously, Sarah.

As many of you might have read last post, things haven’t been rainbows and butterflies for me. When I wrote my last blog, I thought I was positive, maybe encouraging. Yet many of my friends and family asked me if everything is okay. So, let me clarify, yes I am okay. I am on the other side of my mountain.

After I posted my last post, I spent a lot of time praying. The number of questions I was asked after my post was a little eye opening. As I prayed, I felt God put something on my heart.

You take life too seriously, Sarah.

I started thinking about what the meant, taking life too seriously. After all, this is my only life and I don’t exactly get a redo if I mess this up. But…

You take life too seriously, Sarah.

I chewed on this a few days before God expanded on it this morning.

My mom, sisters and I are at the beach this weekend. It’s a girls’ weekend, a chance for us to get away from our responsibilities and focus on our own well-being. Because, let’s be honest, women tend to focus on everyone else first. So I spent some time on the beach reading Philippians. And I read about doing everything without grumbling (Phil. 2:14), rejoicing in the Lord always (Phil. 4:4), and not being anxious about anything (Phil. 4:6). Finally, I read about contentedness…

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want.” Phil. 4:12

I started thinking about contentedness, a lot. I started thinking about those waves in front of me, constantly crashing over and over again. And God placed this thought on my heart…

When we look at the ocean, we hear the waves, we see the waves. When we take pictures of the ocean we want pictures of the waves. But the truth is - the majority of the ocean doesn’t consist of waves. It is peaceful, blue water stretching into the only form of eternity our human minds can grasp. God didn’t create us to be the waves - violent, crashing, loud. He created us to be the ocean - quiet, calm, at peace. And while waves are a part of life, the waves aren’t life.

I felt God calling me towards calm waters, toward peace. I felt like l was caught in a rip tide, being pulled out into open water but clawing desperately at the sand to stay on shore, with the waves.

Let it go, Sarah.

Live, Sarah.

I’ve got you, Sarah.

The things that I’ve been stressed about – school, work, keeping our new house clean, keeping a healthy marriage – these are all good things. These are all blessings. But in my overwhelming seriousness, in my insistence to hold on to my own plan while saying I’m following God’s, I have lost the joy in the blessings.

The truth is I have no idea how to take life less seriously. I have no idea how to relax. I have no idea how to let go of things that feel big but really aren’t. But I want to. I want to let go of everything, live life one day at a time and be content with where I am. Maybe that’s the beginning.

When I was a kid my dad used to bring me out past the waves to the calm part of the ocean. I know it scared my mom to death, but I loved being out there beyond the waves and the craziness. The thing about going out into the calm ocean is that you first have to go through the rough part. You have to get past the violence, holding on to your bathing suit while trying to jump over waves that seem higher than they are. But it’s worth it. It was worth it then and it’s worth it now.

Guys, I don’t want to live in these waves anymore. I don’t want to keep getting smacked with water over and over again anymore. I don’t have to, and I don’t want to. I’m going in!

Lemonade

In the past year, I have experienced stress to an unprecedented degree. My responsibilities at work continue to grow, though the number of hours in a day haven’t caught on to this trend yet. My classes have gotten harder as I get closer to graduation. A year ago Michael and I were packing up our apartment and getting ready to move in with his parents in our final stretch of waiting for our house.

Those of you who know me well know that stress isn’t an easy thing for me to handle. I never really learned how to deal with stress emotionally, so that’s been part of the issue. More than that though, my body doesn’t deal well with stress. I’ve gotten headaches, aches, pains, exhaustion, panic attacks - it’s a seemingly endless list. All signs my body wants me to stop. Take a second. BREATHE.

I know I’m not alone in my poor stress management skills. I know I’m not the only one in survival mode. However, more and more I am realizing that my survival mode isn’t as intense as I believe it is. A really great friend Sarah Ritter helped spark this inside me. I’m not sure exactly what she said, but it was along the lines of “I catch myself praying for my own strength when really I need to pray for those around me.” I bet this sentence is applicable to 98% of people. How easy is it to ask for strength in our exhaustion, for help in our distress, and to not even notice that the person next to us is doing the exact same thing? Or, even worse, the person next to us doesn’t have anywhere to turn. They are relying on their own strength to do everything.

In the quick-service world (a fancy way of saying fast-food), I work with a lot of teenagers. But when I stop and think about it, how many stories do I know? How many people do I work next to every single day can I actually pray for, knowing their needs? This is my job, and I am failing at it. I get caught up in numbers, caught up in creating improvement, caught up in a world that doesn’t really have anything in comparison to the Kingdom.

So here’s my analogy to tie in my mysterious title, “Lemonade.” Ready?

“When life gives you lemons…” You know how it goes.

My goal over the next couple of weeks is to pray for others around me more than myself. That will be my form of making lemonade. After all, what is sweeter than noticing the needs of those around you and going to the One who can actually do something about it.

I’d also like to throw this out there – the more lemon juice you have, the more sugar you need to make lemonade.

What is your sugar? How are you making your sour life sweet?

 

 

(Just as a side note: I REALLY like lemonade.)