Upside-Down Leadership

My job is challenging. The work's not hard. It's not hard to make a chicken sandwich. It's not hard to put it in a bag with fries, ketchup, Chick-fil-A sauce, napkins, and a straw. It's not hard to count change. It's not even that hard to get yelled at by an angry guest (though it's definitely a bit demoralizing). The hardest part of my job is the part that involves leadership. At our store, we don't have "managers", we have "leaders". We don't manage, we LEAD. In fact, manager is almost a taboo word in our work place. We use it with guests sometimes so they understand that we have authority, but that's about it. Managers manage tasks. They juggle things that need to get done, and make them happen. Leadership is different. Leadership is this vague, often confusing word that is almost impossible to define. Leadership has nothing to do with telling others what to do. It has nothing to do with power. Nothing to do with a title. Nothing to do with success. True leadership has to do with humility. Love. Respect for others (not the respect that others have for you). We have this concept at Chick-fil-A called upside-down leadership. The Bible describes it perfectly in Luke 14:8-11:

"When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come say to you, 'Give this person your seat.' Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."

The first thing that jumps out to me in this passage is pride. We all have it, none of us admits it. We walk into a room of people and we place ourselves. "I'm not as important as this person over there, but surely I'm more important than this person over here." This passage is basically saying that if you start ranking yourself, you're going to embarrass yourself. Instead, assume that everyone in the room is more important than you are.

I tell aspiring leaders that upside-down leadership is basically treating everyone around you like they're your boss. Dean is my boss. I know his favorite drink. I know how many creams and sugars he likes in his coffee. I know how old his kids are and what their names are. These things are important to him, so they're important to me. In the same way, I know my coworkers. I know what they like to drink. I know what sports they play. I know what schools they go to. I know what grades they're in and what colleges they want to go to and what they want to do in life. Because it's important to them. So it's important to me.

Upside-down leadership involves what I call the "toothbrush" jobs. Tasks like scrubbing grout with a toothbrush to get it ultra clean. Nobody likes those jobs, but they have to get done. It involves taking out the trash. It involves cleaning pee in the playplace. It involves scrubbing toilets. Doing "toothbrush" jobs are important because it shows the team members that we aren't above them, but also because they show us that we aren't above them. Jesus washed feet. Feet are gross.

I want to challenge my friends to live an upside-down life. Even if you don't have a position of authority, you are still noticed by others. You have your kids or your spouse watching you. You have your friends, your neighbors, your coworkers watching you. Those people across the street that have the perfect lawn and the perfect car and the perfect kids are watching you. They notice. And when they see something different, they'll want to figure it out. Make them so crazy curious that they have to walk up to you and straight up ask you, "Ok, I can't figure it out, what's with you?" Then you know you are living an upside-down life. And that's the right-side up.

My Bad Day

My bad day started at 5:45 this morning. I woke up and I was grumpy. I prayed on the way to work this morning, "God please let me get over this so I can glorify you." It was a hard day going back to work after a hard weekend. I spent the weekend in Kentucky with family for a devastating funeral. Everything happened so fast. One morning I woke up in Monroe, the next morning I woke up in E-town Kentucky. Anyway, going to work today was hard. Everyone around me was living life as always and I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that wouldn't go away. Every time I started to feel normal, something would remind me and I'd start over again. So I worked a long, stressful day at work with this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm finally off and (30 minutes later) I make my way to the car. Aaaaaaand, I have a flat tire. I came inside and told Michael and, luckily, we were slow enough that he could come outside and help. On the way back out to the car I stepped in gum. I laughed but was a little annoyed. (I hate gum anyway.) Then, as Michael pulled out the spare tire, I felt something wet land on my sholder. Instantly I knew. Bird poop. I'll be honest - I cried. It mostly had to do with that feeling in the pit of my stomach. But also I was mad at life. Anyway, I went inside and wiped off the bird poop (and I gagged, not going to lie). When I came back out and Michael got the spare on my heart sank. The spare was flat, too. So we ended up putting the spare in Michael's trunk (which meant taking it off and putting the flat back on) and driving it across the street to a gas station. We put air in and and drove back across the street and finally we got it fixed. And I had a Bible study to go to. I was 30 minutes late. 

My favorite phrase in the Bible is "But God." It's always followed by God saving the day. I have things to be thankful for in this situation that I can't deny. Like I'm SUPER thankful that I wasn't stranded. I had a flat at work and my husband was right there to save the day. I'm thankful that there was a gas station conveniently across the street. I'm thankful we were slow enough for Michael to step away and help. I'm thankful that nothing bad about my day actually mattered. Nothing takes away God's love for me. Nothing takes away my salvation. So often we let these things get to us and we forget how insignificant they are in the long run. A flat tire doesn't matter to the kingdom of God. Being 30 minutes doesn't matter. What matters is how we react. One thing I've learned at my job as a leader is that how we react to a problem is much more important that how we solve a problem. It doesn't matter how we fixed a problem if we tore down 5 people in the process. That took me years to learn. Everyone looks to a leader when things go wrong. Leader panics, yells, or cries, the team falls apart. But if a leader can hold themselves together, they can hold the team together. Maintain what you've got before fixing what you don't have. Anyway, the whole time I knew I had to be smart about my reaction. I knew no one would blame me for being mad - especially after such a hard week. I knew a lot of people would get angry. But I knew there were teenagers inside who knew that I love God and they would be watching. And I knew Satan was hoping I would slip up. 

I'm proud to say I didn't get mad. I was sad - yes. Exhausted - yes. But I knew it didn't matter. I live for the Kingdom of God, not for my own happiness. And, one more thing: I'm really thankful that bird poop didn't land on my head!

An Overflowing Cup

Since Michael and I have began this whole house process, I have told people that it feels like God is showing off in our lives. I have told people that Michael and I do not deserve it - God is just giving it to us anyway. Today I was reading scripture and I read something that reminded me of the blessings that God has given in my life right now.

"I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful an increase your numbers, and I will keep m covenant with you. You will still be eating last year's harvest when you will have to move it out to make room for the new. I will make my dwelling place among you, and I will not abhor you. I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people." Leviticus26:9-12

Context is really important here. First of all, Leviticus is a book that was written for the Levi's. The Levi's were from the tribe of Levi (that one was easy), as was Aaron. The book of Leviticus is a book written specifically for the priests after the Israelites were rescued from Egypt but before they made it to the promise land. They needed rules and structure because they had been influenced by Egyptian polytheism. What you need to know is that this chapter is towards the end of the book. These verses and the ones before are basically telling the Israelites that they will be rewarded for obeying God' commands. Verses to follow are a harsh warning of consequences for disobedience.

Bombarded with more information than you thought you wanted to know? What I'm really saying through all of this is that I am enjoying the favor of the Lord. Verse 10 jumped out to me the most. It says "You will still be eating last year's harvest when you will have to move it to make room for the new." This struck so close to home for me. Michael and I were still enjoying our first year of marriage when we were blessed with this home. We didn't deserve it. But God blessed us more than we deserved just because we love Him.

I have always been a firm believer that we shouldn't even expect our reward here on earth because it will be in heaven. Friends, after reading this scripture and experiencing this in my own life, I can confidently say that God blesses us here too. Sure, it's nothing compared to our true reward, but it's definitely not too shabby. If this is what blessings on earth feel like, heaven has to be the most beautiful thing ever created. Every desire of every heart filled completely, forever. Permanent satisfaction. Like waking up from a good night's sleep and never getting tired again. My wish is that you can have hope today. God rewards those that love Him. You're not just chasing after the wind. If you're not experiencing rewards yet, hang in there. Good times are to come. Verse 42 says that God will remember His covenant - and this is after talking about the punishments that will be given to the disobedient. If God will remember His covenant with the disobedient, how much more will He remember it with those who love and obey? Have hope. God rewards His children.

Homeownership Discoveries

I never, in a million years, thought that this is what my life would look like at age 22. Maybe 44, but not 22. We are homeowners. That fact is still settling in. Our home is unbelievably beautiful. Every part of it is like a dream. The kitchen cabinets and counters are perfect. The carpet is perfect. The fireplace is perfect. I have a garage. (I've never had a garage.)

Homeownership is a new adventure and I definitely am facing new challenges I've never faced before. I thought it'd be fun to come up with a list of the discoveries I've made so far since I signed my life away...

• Spiders! (Eek!) When we had our walk through I noticed a web with a few nests in the garage. I made a mental note to find the spider spray. Later, when we were moving in, one of the movers took a closer look at the web. Black widows. We have black widows! Sooooo, off to Lowe's to buy some spider spray. I've only seen one since, and it was dead.
• Weeds. Ugh. I never truly understood how frustrating weeds are. I've never even noticed them before. But every time I look in our front yard, all I can see are the weeds. Bought spray at Lowe's for that, too.
• Mud. That's the downside to living in a new construction. Our front yard has sod but our backyard is straw and seed. I didn't think it was a big deal until I took Misty outside and realized the danger our new carpet was in. My solution: little rain boots for Misty. Cheesy, yes, but it's way easier than trying to wipe off every trace of mud from her paws.
• Chinese. Super random, I know, but we discovered a great Chinese place down the road! Their servings are HUGE and they have lunch specials, so Michael and I can eat for $6 total!
• Stay-at-home moms. Also random. Grocery shopping in this part of time isn't as easy at 11am as I'm used to. There are so many stay-at-home moms with the same idea that you're not really beating the crowds after all.
• Harris Teeter. The only grocery store around. I've always avoided them because I've heard that they're expensive, but I had no choice. (Target has no selection in groceries, btw. Don't bother.) Surprisingly, there were a lot of sales. Like 3 for $11 12-pack sodas. And, they cater to you like you're royalty (might be slightly exaggerating there). Maybe it's Harris Teeter, maybe it's the area I live in now, but they apologized that I had to wait in line when I was the next person in line. They unload and reload your cart and push it over so it's convenient for you. I'm not used to this! (But I can certainly get used to it!)
• Corn fields. I can't drive anywhere without driving through one. Literally. The neighborhood is in the middle of a cornfield. I drove to Monroe and they were everywhere there too.
• Noise. Another downside of new construction. Just because your house is done doesn't mean that the machines are gone and the noise is gone. All day long our cul-de-sac is full of white construction vans and trucks. Hopefully within the next month it should settle down though. Just in time for the construction behind us to begin.

This new adventure is thrilling yet frustrating, exciting yet stressful, and worth every penny. And now our new dining set and guest bedroom set have just come in and all I can do is praise my Lord. I didn't do anything to deserve this. I didn't do anything to earn it. I have no idea how this happened. Yet here I am. Basking in His love. When Michael and I first got married we thought we were 5 years away from buying a house. But God knew the desires of our hearts. He knew exactly what we wanted and followed through on every bit of it. Without us asking. Why? I've asked myself why God chose to bless us a thousand times and this is my answer. I think He's just showing off a little. He's just showing what He can do, just because He can. And, plus, He likes it when we give Him glory, too. All I can do is praise Him for what He's done. Just stand back and praise.

I'd also like to give a huge thanks to everyone who's supported us through this process. Especially to Michael's parents, who let us stay at their house for a month and a half after our apartment lease was up and shove all of our stuff into their garage. And thank you to everyone who helped us write the Bible verses on the wood before our house was done.

"Masterpieces"

I love analogies. Like, it's weird how much I love analogies. So here's my analogy for today:

Reading the Bible is like putting on lotion. (Stifle your laughter, please.) It's easy to forget about lotion until our skin is dry. Then we put on lotion and feel better. But if we don't keep putting on lotion, our skin is going to continue to stay dry.

It's easy for us to forget about reading the Bible until life gets hard. Life gets hard and we google Bible verses about the trial we're going through, read a passage on it, and feel better. But if we don't keep reading the Bible, that trial is still continue to be a challenge. Even better, if we read our Bible when we're not being challenged (or put on lotion when our skin isn't dry), we'll be prepared for the challenge and it'll be easier.

Judge me for my analogy if you want, but Jesus used analogies, and he's the ultimate judge.

On a more serious note, my quiet time today took me to Exodus 27-29. Can I just say, Exodus isn't always the most thrilling book in the Bible. Sure, there are exciting times when the Israelites are rescued from Egypt. And when the Ten Commandments are presented. Or even when baby Moses was rescued from the Nile. But Exodus 25-30 are chapters that provide the Israelites with instructions on how to build the ark of the covenant, the tabernacle, the alter where sacrifices are to be made, and the garments that priests are to wear. Reading these chapters can be like staring at a wall sometimes. It can be so easy for us to skip these chapters and say to ourselves, "This was for the Israelites. There's not much I can learn because I'm not going to build these things. God wants me to learn, so I'll read something that teaches me or encourages me." This is called rationalizing. My accounting teacher used to tell us, "You can rationalize just about anything if you want to." You can rationalize your way out of reading the "boring" scriptures, but they're still a part of God's word. And you can still learn.

Let me tell you what I learned from these "boring" passages. I learned that God had an intricately detailed plan for objects. The tabernacle was, at the end of the day, an object. It had no soul. The alter, an object. Garments - objects. They were important, yes, but they did not need salvation. How much more, then, does God plan our lives? If he has such detailed plans for things, how much more detailed is His plan for us? And then I got to thinking - these "boring" passages were instructions. And if the Israelites did not follow the instructions, the things wouldn't work. If they made a side of the tent too short, that wouldn't be a good tent. If they made the ark and forgot to include the rings for the poles so they could carry it, there would be a lot of dead Israelites. The same is true for us. If we don't follow God's will for our lives, we won't function to our fullest ability. We'll be lopsided - missing something. If we don't follow God's plan for us, sometimes He has to tear down what we did so we can start again. To us - it's destruction. We created this "beautiful" thing that we think is what He wants and when He tears it down we gawk in disbelief. But we created a garment with holes in it - and that won't work.

If God has torn down your "masterpiece", realize it's for a reason. It's to build something better. Don't be discouraged. Don't think He's forgotten you. Trust Him, trust His plan. After all, He had a plan for a tent - and that ended up being a pretty important thing.

One Man Band

I live with a workaholic. Michael is the hardest worker I've ever known. He never complains about it. He can work 16 hour day and I won't hear him say he's tired once. He doesn't take breaks. He works relentlessly on the tasks that he has to get done. What he gets done is the equivalent of 3 men's work. But he can't rest. He can't stop thinking about work when he's home. He has a hard time turning it off.

I know a lot of people like Michael. I'm not like that with my job per se, but I'm like that with the tasks that I need to get done. I bounce from work to school to housework to YoungLife and never let myself get a chance to breathe. TV is background noise for me (so I don't think a bad guy is trying to break in all the time), not entertainment. It's so easy in our fast-paced culture to get sucked into our to-do lists. We LIVE to-do lists, not just write them.

My quiet time today took me to Exodus Ch. 18. Here Moses has been appointed judge over the Israelites, and they come to him with their problems. Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, comes to visit and tells Moses,

"What you do is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone"(verses 18 & 19).

At first I read this and I thought, Jethro, who the heck are you to talk to Moses like that? This is MOSES! He got the people out of Egypt. He parted the Red Sea. I think he knows what he's doing. In all honesty, I thought the story would be about how Jethro didn't know how much we can do when God is on our side.

BRRRRRRRRR. (That's the sound of a buzzer that my dad used to make at me as a kid when I was wrong.) Jethro tells Moses he should delegate his duties and  make other judges. They will take care of the easy stuff and go to Moses with the hard stuff. And it worked.

Workaholics, Moses couldn't do everything himself, and he parted a sea. I haven't heard of any sea-partings lately, so if you haven't even parted a sea, what makes you think you can do everything alone? MOSES NEEDED HELP. MOSES NEEDED REST. MOSES WAS A HUMAN BEING. Give yourselves a break. You don't have to solve every problem. You don't have to be aware of all of the happenings at work. You don't have to match up every lone sock (that one is for me). If you chase after completing tasks, you'll never get anywhere. It's like running in water against the current. You're just going to wear yourself out. Scripture says that work is good (Ecclesiastes 3:22) but it also reminds us to rest (hence the Sabbath day). God has blessed us with so many things outside of work. We need to remember to take time to enjoy those as well.

So what if you let the dishes stack up a little and they start to smell. Does that change your salvation? So what if you were late to work because you got stuck behind 2 school buses and a grandma. Does that change God's promise? So what if you take a weekend to do nothing even though you've had a project in the house that has been halfway finished for weeks. Does that change your eternity? Live for eternity FIRST and the little things seem a lot littler.

Also, I saw a one man band once, and the music really wasn't that great. It was just a lot of sound.

Silence

My quiet time today took me to Genesis 22, the story of Abraham's test of faith. The chapter starts out as so...

"Some time later God tested Abraham, He said to him, 'Abraham!'
'Here I am,' he replied.
Then God said, 'Take your son, your only son, whom you love - Isaac - and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you," (verses 1-2).

Scripture goes on to describe Abraham's journey to the mountain. It took Abraham 3 entire days to get to this mountain. As I was reading, I couldn't help but notice that the Scripture only shows one sentence that God said to Abraham about the sacrifice. But you and I know Abraham most likely had several more sentences in response to this. Maybe something like...

"WHAT?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?"
"WHAT ABOUT THE GREAT NATION HE IS TO BECOME?"
"I THOUGHT CHILD SACRIFICE WAS FOR THE HEATHENS!"
"I WAITED 100 YEARS FOR THAT CHILD AND YOU'RE TAKING HIM AWAY JUST LIKE THAT?"
"Oh great, how am I going to explain this one to Sarah?"

At least, that's what I'd be doing. Questioning God. Asking Him the age-old question "Why?" Yet Scripture shows no further dialogue. When they reach the mountain, Abraham tells his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you" (verse 5). The "we" in this sentence was blaring to me. Abraham believed that God would provide, even though God gave no evidence of it.

I needed this passage this morning. I have a friend who desperately needs God's healing. I have prayed and prayed and prayed for my dear friend. Both of us have questioned God, asking Him why he hasn't provided the healing yet. Asking Him if it'll ever come. I believe that God has revealed to me that He will heal her, so I can't help but be a little frustrated watching her suffer while she waits. Ever since God revealed this to me, He has been silent. I have been so frustrated with this. Over and over again I read in the Bible that God listens to prayers.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:7-11

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask or in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

The verses God provides in His Word about prayer go on and on about God answering prayer to those who believe. God's Word never contradicts itself. God's Word never fails. Genesis 22 provided me with encouragement today because it reminded me that silence doesn't mean "No." Silence doesn't mean your prayers are falling on deaf ears. Silence doesn't mean God doesn't care. Abraham suffered through silence as I'm sure he asked God a million questions. He suffered through silence for three days as he faithfully made his way to the mountain. The silence didn't keep him from moving. He obeyed despite the silence. He had faith that God would come through, and told others about it as well.

I believe my friend will be healed will all of my heart. I have prayed for her literally a thousand times I'm sure and I'll pray for her a thousand more. I believe the Scriptures that God has provided me and I have faith that, even though He is silent right now, He will follow through. And when he does, I'm throwing her the biggest party she's ever had. (She thinks I'm kidding about this but I'm definitely not!)

I want to encourage you today to stand firm if you are waiting through silence. Obey despite the silence and have faith through the silence, just like Abraham. Oh, and God will reward you. That's the best part of the story!

"The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, 'I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me," (verses 15-17).

And one more additional passage to encourage anyone who's waiting on answered prayers...

"Then Jesus said to them, 'Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, "Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend on mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing t set before him." And suppose the one inside answers, "Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can't get up and give you anything." I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need." Luke 11:5-8

Momitis

All of us need a friend we can talk to about anything. It's a human instinct. I am blessed to have several friends that I feel I can open up to. I have one friend, however, who practically shares a brain with me. I say this because it doesn't matter what I say, she gets me. We can laugh about stupid things, encourage one another in perfect ways, and talk about anything without feeling judged. Laura always turns me towards the Lord. She always reminds me to pray when I'm stressed. She always reminds me that God is in control. She knows exactly when to ask that grounding "Have you prayed about this?" question that pulls me back towards our Father. She is a gift from God.

Yesterday I get to spend some time with Laura and, because we are girls, we ended up talking about hair and make-up. She did mine for me and taught me new fun tricks. But the lesson I learned was a lot bigger than how to blend eyeshadow...

We decided I have what I like to call "Momitis". I'm not actually a mom, of course, but I take care of myself like one. I work 50+ hours a week in a place where hair and make-up are the least of my worries. I'm an online student so I wear my PJ's to class. I have always had this concept that my appearance doesn't matter to the kingdom of God so why let myself get distracted by it. I don't allow myself to get caught up in my appearance because I feel "guilty". Sound familiar?

I'm not saying that taking care of your appearance is something to focus on. But after my wonderful talk with Laura, I think God enjoys us having fun. He created us, right? He gave us our long locks and I think He enjoys watching us play with them. There's no reason for me to avoid wearing make-up or nice clothes just because I serve God. It does, however, mean that I need to keep it in check. I should never allow it to distract me from Christ.

I want to encourage all of my "Mom" friends out there (including those of us who aren't moms but treat ourselves like them) to allow yourself some slack. It's ok to take care of yourself. It's ok to wear eyeshadow. It's ok to take a few extra minutes to get ready. How many of us keep track of laundry, dishes, dinner, and schedules without a hitch? But the one thing we slack off on is ourselves. Because we don't have to listen to ourselves complain. Nobody notices when we don't take care of ourselves because we excuse it for each other. "It just comes with the territory."

Glorify God by praising His creativity. Glorify Him by having a taking care of yourself. Not because you should, but because you can. It's ok to have fun, right?

So, after we came up with my diagnosis, Laura surprised me at work today with a gift. She got me eye shadow, mascara, brushes, everything a girl needs! I wanted to fall over when I saw it. I wanted to cry. I wanted go in the bathroom and start experimenting with it. It's not the things that made the gift important to me. It's the concept. She gave me a box of "You're important." She gave me a box of "You matter too."

That's a good friend. Thanks Laura!

Middle Ground

Right now I'm hanging out in this transition part of my life. Michael and I have moved out of our apartment and in with his parents for a month as our house is nearing completion. These transition periods in our lives can be so frustrating sometimes. We've almost got what we want, but we have to wait for it. Patience.

The human race is obsessed with the finish line. We climb corporate ladders and are dissatisfied until we are at the very top. We run marathons, ultras, century runs for the elation of crossing the finish line. We have phrases like "Go for the gold" that encourage us that everything will be worth it in the end.

But ... what about right now? What about the exhausting, frustrating task of waiting? Waiting for that dream job to open up so you can finally get out of the horrible job you're stuck in. Waiting until you're old enough to get married. Waiting until college starts so you can move out of your parent's house. Waiting until your house is finally done being built. Waiting...

Our pastor calls it "Wait Training." Building up our spiritual muscles while we wait. There's something mysteriously beautiful about waiting. Maybe it's the curiosity of Christmas Eve. Maybe it's joy of a new baby that will soon be in your arms. Waiting can be one of the most frustrating tasks ever. It felt like forever before Michael finally proposed. Every day became agonizing. Yet, the frustration changed nothing.

I'm sitting here in my in-law's house, our life in boxes in the garage, and I have a choice. I can be frustrated. Why can't the house be done already? Why couldn't the apartment complex stretch our lease just one more month? What if the sale falls through? But at the end of the day, I would have just wasted  month of my life being frustrated and anxious.

I challenge all of the "waiters" out there to praise God for this time period. Praise God for the blessing that is to come. Praise God for the fact that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Praise God for the wonderful things that you had before this waiting period came and for the joy you will once again experience when it's over. And praise God for His plan. That He is never late, never early. That He has chosen that specific time that you (move out, have the baby, get that job, get married) for a reason. Praise Him for His wisdom. How many stupid things would you have done if you didn't have to sit around and wait? Praise God that sometimes waiting gets us out of a situation we wouldn't have wanted to be in. And praise God for His promise. That it IS worth it in the end. Just remember that whatever you're waiting for, that's not the finish line. Wait on Heaven.

Living a Life of Grace

I've been toying with this idea for a while. The concept is simple but the execution is so much more difficult. How do I daily make an impact on the people around me? Especially when many concepts of Christianity are deeply hated in society. I can spend weeks trying to break down someone's wall to get to know them on a more personal level. When I finally do, and I mention Jesus, I am immediately associated with Christians who are harsh, unfair critics of the world around them. Instantly weeks of hard work vanish before my eyes. How is it that the reputation of Christians is more bad than good? How is it that the most loved, most forgiven people in the world forget how to love and forgive? Since when were rules more important than grace? Isn't that why Jesus came to this world - to give us freedom from trying to grasp the unattainable and instead focus on sharing the grace we've been given? When did this stop becoming a top priority?

Personally, I'm fed up with the Christian stereotype. I'm fed up with watching Christians beat non-believers with the Bible and then become surprised when they have a hard time bringing people to church. I've only had people try to introduce me to Christ a handful of times, and its always with tracts that tell me I'm a sinner and destined to go to Hell. One even told me that I am disgusting in God's sight. But the tracts always end with a pleasant invitation to church. What?!?! I distinctly remember the church that I grew up in encouraging us to invite our neighbors to church, even if we had never spoken to them before. It'd be a "pleasant surprise." Inviting someone to church should never be the first step in a relationship or in bringing someone to Christ. That's creepy! How easy is it for us to say no to those kids that go door to door trying to sell overpriced double-sided wrapping paper? But if our niece or nephew, friend, or loved one comes along, we get out our checkbook. If we are actively pursuing bringing someone to Christ, we spend hours, weeks, maybe months or years building that relationship. We invest our time. We slip little things in occasionally like, "Wow , that sounds really though, I'll definitely be praying for you!" before we finally sit down and have the "talk." Then we can say something like, "Why don't you come to church with me this Sunday, so you can see more of what I'm talking about."

Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't know much about apologetics. What I do know is that it takes double or even triple the amount of time to get through to someone when they've already been exposed to Bible bashers. After someone has grasped the concept of God's love they can begin to understand why He put the rules in place that He chose. Once they understand the rules, they understand that they are out of love, not out of a need to control. Rules - love = control, and I know God doesn't have control issues. 

My questions to you are these:

1. Are you actively pursuing expanding the kingdom of God?

2. Whether you answered yes or no, what is your biggest barrier?

Remember that if Christianity was all about rules, we'd all be Jewish. We need to be daily seeking to expand the kingdom and bring glory to God. Can we bring glory to God by sinning? No. But we can't expand the kingdom by focusing on the rules either. Our lives need to be centered on grace. Daily admitting our sins and accepting grace, thanking God for His grace, and offering that same grace to others.

P.S. If you're a Bible basher, don't worry, God's got grace for you. too. And there's nothing you can do that God can't undo.

For ALL Have Sinned

Something has been on my heart for the past 12 hours. Actually, it hasn't been on my heart, it's been nagging my thoughts nonstop. It's been pulling at my heartstrings like its about to fall off a cliff. Seriously, this thing won't leave me alone.

How do I become an approachable Christian while still maintaining an appropriate lifestyle? When people see my life they compare it with their giant list of things they mess up at and they categorize me as "perfect". Well, we all know I ain't perfect, but why would anyone want to listen to me tell them about Jesus when they see me as the girl who does no wrong? They think I can't relate. They don't want me to know the truth. They're afraid I'll judge them. They're afraid their sin is just too big.

While I live my whole life judging as little as I can, people still seem to feel this way. They feel like they can't compare. How can I bring someone to Jesus when I'm stuck like this?

I've been trying to think of ways to make myself relatable. I obviously don't want to sin in public ways in order to show that I don't actually have it all together. Right now I feel like the best thing to do is share with others struggles that I've had in my life or that I'm going through now. I can tell them how horrible I am at handling stress. Or that I procrastinate. Or that sometimes I just don't feel like getting out if bed - for no reason at all.

Jesus never sinned, yet he was able to reach everyone. If anyone knows what I mean, it's him. I guess I'll be studying his life a lot closer over the next couple of weeks, figuring out how he remained relatable in his perfection.

Heard a cool quote last week.

"People often compare the worst parts of their lives with the best parts of others'."

Don't compare your sin against mine. If you feel like I won't understand, I might not. But I've read about David who was an adulterous murderer, Saul/Paul who was a mass murderer, Peter who had anger issues, Jonah who had was filled with either fear or hatred (or both), and the list goes on. God chose them despite their shortcomings. He reshaped their hearts, not just once but over and over again as they struggled with their sinful nature. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Not just you. Not just Moses. Or Cain. But me. My pastor. My boss. My parents. My best friend. The president. Gandhi. Mother Teresa.

You're not alone in your sin. And you have a chance to escape. Personally, I recommend taking
that opportunity.

Spiritual Detox

So far in my life, the most dangerous prayer I have ever prayed involved asking God to break me down in order to build me up - that's a blog for another day. He has recently called me towards something that may be equally or more dangerous. I have felt it placed on my heart to fast.

I am terrified about what I'm about to do. I've never fasted, not even for one day, and I feel led to fast for the next week. I've been fasting for an astounding 25 minutes (it started at midnight this morning) and I already feel a little grumbly. I am drinking water, juice, and allowing myself to eat yogurt. That's it. I think the scary part isn't the hunger or the weakness, it's the attacks I know I'm in for. I know that anything that is so powerful for the Kingdom of Heaven is never left alone.

I am fasting because I will be starting my first semester working towards ministry on the 14th. I want to spend the week before the semester starts allowing God to work my heart in ways I've never asked Him to do before. I know that if I want to become a spiritual leader in my community one day, I must first humble myself before Him, willing to change anything. I know it's going to be a very difficult week. I have felt over the past few weeks God pointing my weaknesses out to me. I get stressed easily. I get frustrated. I snap at people who sometimes have nothing to do with my frustration. I become quick with my words. I lose sight of why I'm really here. And it especially happens at work, when the pressure is on. I have been memorizing scripture partly to help with this. Every time I get stressed out, I try to remember 1 Peter 5:7. Recently I got so stressed out over nothing that I ended up breaking down and crying about literally nothing. I took a bubble bath to take some time to dedicate to figuring out what I was upset over and felt God telling me I need to remember to take time to rest. It's funny because last Sunday at church our pastor talked about the importance of resting. He made a joke that God MAKES him lie down in green pastures. I told Michael after church that, while the sermon was good, it was hard to relate to because I felt I was at a place in my life where God was calling me to action. Oh, the irony. Little did I know that by the end of the week I'd be crying about nothing. God saw how stubborn I was being and He MADE me slow down and relax. I've gotten to a point where I'm mentally stressed out all the time, even on my days off when I'm watching TV. I don't allow myself much leisure time because I feel guilty for not getting things done. Every woman in the world has to know what I'm talking about.

I know this week of fasting will be a week of God refining my soul. I know there's a lot that needs to be fixed. He needs to refine me so that He can mold me into something better.  I really don't know what I'm in for, but I know it will be POWERFUL and EFFECTIVE. I need to be humbled. I need it. So that in times of stress, I can realize how insignificant I am compared to Him. Then I can remember that despite my insignificance, He chose to forgive me of everything I've done wrong against Him. When I remember that, how can I let anything stress me out?

I am confident that this fast is exactly what I need to become more focused on Him. I will be praying daily that He will nourish my soul in a way that the food that I'm not eating cannot do. Only then can I achieve His plan for me.